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Thursday, February 09, 2012

why the blues.......

i mentioned in my earlier post that i was feeling the blues... why?  when i am back where i want to be?

wellz, it's more because of little kaira.  i mentioned earlier about her rought first week @ school.  after that things improved and i thought that all should go smoothly.

unfortunately, 3rd week into school and she's been crying almost everyday when i drop her off @ school.

i'm honestly quite discouraged and troubled by this prolonged crying.

considering that she was always very happy to go to school when we were in the netherlands, this prolonged bout of crying is making me feel down.

i've tried all i can, humanly speaking, to try to help and nothing seems to work.  of course, i've been praying for her too, but it seems like God has his own timing with regards to her and i pray that whatever the reason for her crying, He will accomplish whatever He wants through her and believe that He's using this period to help her to grow and toughen up.

It's tough to see hear cry everyday. and as she's older, she seems more stubborn compared to when she's younger.... more difficult to "con"vince her now ;)

the last few weeks, i speak with her everyday about her crying, hoping to establish the reason(s) and seeing how i can help her overcome it/them.

-- she tells me it's because there's alot of writing and worksheets and works to be done @ class and that she doesn't like it.  she wants to go back to the netherlands (-_-)

==> i've tried explaining to her that it's ok if she doesn't know how to do certain things.  that the reason we go to school is to learn from the teachers.  so it's ok to be wrong and that the teacher is there to help us and correct us so that we can learn. 
==> she initially has some issues about being corrected and feels very insecure each time she makes a mistakes but i think she's better now and accepting that we all make mistakes

-- she tells me too that she's afraid of one of the teachers because she talks very loudly/shouts /too big sized (i think i mentioned that in an earlier post)

==> having spoken to her, i can see that she's quite ok with the teacher now and she can hug her etc.  but somehow, there's that psychological barrier that she needs to overcome and she still sometimes tells me that she doesn't like that particular teacher very much compared to the rest of the teachers.
-- then she tells me it's because it's more fun to be @ home and she doesn't want to go to school

-- some days she tells me it's because she loves me and wants to be with me and she wants me to stay in class with her

==> is this the "price to pay" for being a stay-home mum??!? o wellz.

these are the 4 main reason she has given me.

i've tried addressing each of them by talking to her, giving her analogies, trying to build up her confidence/security...... as these are done when we are home, she seems to understand at the moment in time but the moment we reached school, she will still cry and no matter what i say doesn't get to her anymore.

in fact, when i asked her about school, she tells me that she enjoys the activities at school.  and she's even into writing at home these days because of the worksheets in school. and just like in netherlands, she will play act at home, what happens in school.  so it seems to be that she is doing ok.
and whenever i pick her up from school , she tells me she has had a good day and she liked school and she's always jolly and cheerful.

O, her crying stops when i leave and she's with the class.... it does take a while for her to calm down but she will join the rest and i've seen her in action --very talkative and answering the teacher's questions and so forth.  so i am really not sure why she's crying...... initially, i thought it could be that she's not confident of certain activities in class but according to the teachers, she does them quite well @ class.  so i don't really know what's the problem.  could it be the trying first week @ school and negative "first impression" during the first week that ruined her impression of school?  and caused her to fear stepping into class?? i really don't know.  i am praying.  that this is a phase. i really want her to enjoy her time in school. are really such a mystery sometimes.....

i am trying the reward/punishment method -- if she doesn't cry, she gets a smiley face, stickers and something special each time.  if she cries, she gets a sad face and i will "beat" her palm with the cane.  doesn't seem to have effect so far!!!

i've tried letting her bring a "friend" to class - it worked for one day, then she's back to her crying self.

honestly, i seem to have exhausted all my means of helping her.

i was initially reluctant to change school for her as i believed that she can overcome this and she should be given the opportunity to work through this period rather than "escaping" from it.  however, after this prolonged period (when she first started going to nursery in the netherlands, she cried only 4 times and thereafter, it was a breeze.  for her other classes in singapore, she doesn't cry either), i even contemplated changing schools for her.... thinking i could be wrong! however, before we change school, i had to manage her expectations so i told her that even by changing schools, i cannot guarantee that there will be "less" work or that the teachers will not be "fierce" sometimes etc.  And she told me she doesn't want to change school (-_-)

so, i am left with facing a crying child everyday when i drop her off @ school.  very tiring when it becomes a daily affair.  i hope she will overcome this quickly and by her own choice.

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