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Monday, August 18, 2008

Oh Oh .... first stranger anxiety, now separation anxiety...

these last few days, it's beginning to manifest even more! we (both myself and hubbie) cannot be out of kaira's sight!! even for 1 second!! o dear.

when she was abt 4 months old, she developed stranger anxiety.... if she's not familiar with the person, she will be crying buckets if held by the "stranger". read up lots on this and realised that babies go through this stage one time or the other, and some have stronger reations than others. so i thought, ok, let's hope she grows up and the phase will pass.

since coming to netherlands, no one else has tried carrying her (except my parents who were here for 1 month), so i really don't know if she has passed the stage? although, she can now be quite friendly with strangers, waving at them and smiling. and so i hope she has outgrown the stranger anxiety phase. and thought, OK, no more worries =P

But, now, she suddenly has this anxiety about being separated from me (and sometimes, to a certain extent, hubbie). :( it started manifesting a couple of days before my parents left. even when my mum was next to her and playing with her, she will be whining (if i am out of sight)! and she simply prefers me to carry her and to play with her, even though grandma and grandpa are around.

and since they went back, she has been getting worse! initially, i tried to ignore her cries and keep talking to her while i "disappear" to assure her that i am around, but i need to do things. but her crying juz escalates! aiyo, to the extent that even when i carry her, she won't stop crying. it's so very frustrating at times. even when i try to distract her with her toys, the moment she realised that i've stepped away, she will "abandon" her toys and start "calling out" to me

so now, i try a different tactic, i keep "giving" her advance warning, telling her i am going to the kitchen, i am going to do this, do that, than i move away. and i try to come back before she whines and stay with her for a while, before going away again.

it's indeed quite tiring. but i hope she begins to realise that i have not "disappeared!"

so after hubbie experienced her "separation anxiety" cries on sunday, he commented that "no wonder u r so bz" ... hahahaha....yeah, its quite difficult to get things done ...but i still have to do it, so i am learning to bear with her whining and also trying all means to help her realise that i am around and that she doesn't need me to be "next" to her all the time.

is this a result of me being a Stay-at-home mum?? or is this a natural development in her? i really don't know. i want her to grow up secured, independent and joyful....but hmmmm.... some times the results doesn't show ....i must continue to pray....

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