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Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Giving Thanks!

Just wanted to give thanks to God for his healing touch! Think it was Monday morning when i woke up and realised that i have (AGAIN!) a small lump/pimple in my eye. I am perpetually plagued by this.....and this time it was my left eye, lower lid. And, i already have one on my upper left lid which hasn't completely healed. Was frustrated. And while i was cleaning, i asked God to heal it, so that i won't have to go through the pain and "swollen" eye look so soon again... Thank God he healed ! I was so tired on Monday evening i slept at 830pm and when i woke up this morning and was washing up, realised that the lump/pimple is gone! Hallelujah. :) Praise the Lord.

Monday, November 29, 2004

bust enhancement???

today, i heard that papayas helps enhance one's bust size?? interesting...... anyone who knows why please tell me? I am puzzled as to why it is so? also, i understand, it helps one to lose weight!!! so, maybe, despite me not liking fresh papayas, i should consider eating it more regularly... lose weight, bigger cup size - isn't it ideal?? hahahahaha ;)

Saturday, November 27, 2004

i contributed to the hkg economy again today ;)

hehehe....bought a leather jacket tonite ;)

been wanting to since last winter........finally decided to part with my $$$$. ;p

Friday, November 26, 2004

passion for service

these few days, this nagging thought about passion for doing God's work has been on my mind. i've been praying, but i don't seem to have any breakthrough ;( on one hand, i am very sure, that, what i want is to be able to go God's work and be a blessing to others through ministry. on the other hand, while the heart is willing, the flesh is weak. i honestly do not feel a passion sometimes, for people. i'd rather do my own stuff.......but God has gently reminded me the self-centredness of that. and i do enjoy helping others (after the fact), but sometimes, the thought of putting time, energy and effort into some form of ministry work.......makes me feel tired. sigh. where did all the passion go? i mean, how can i not be excited about working alongside the Creator? the holder of the universe? is my vision so narrow that i only focus on the present? and am i so foolish that i choose to ignore the fact that Christ will return and that my service today will bring a smile to His face when i am in his presence? has the world gotten to me? Wow, today, very cheem thoughts.......even i am a bit overwhelmed writing this. Lord, please help me. Show me and guide me. Give me your passion. Feel me with your love. For without your love, i am really, nothing.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

feeling sianzzzz today

this is one of those days, when i woke up and my gut tells me i am going to have a generally "sianzzz" day ahead.......ayezzzz, why like that? i don't like such days. i think the weekend will get cooler ...... maybe should go buy myself a nice coat! that should perk me up!! ;) hehehe.

sigh. also going to be on course the full day on saturday! maybe that's what making me sianz! wasted weekend ;(

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Idle thoughts. Idyllic thoughts. Is there a difference? Idle thoughts to me!

This year, since becoming a little more "obsessed" about the quality of food ingredients i.e. am a bit more conscious about organic food, ingredient composition etc, the thought of having a little "garden"/"farm patch" so that I can enjoy fresh and natural produce becomes more and more enticing and interesting. Unfortunately, don’t have the luxury of a small area, not even a patch to grow stuff.

So, while hiking the other day (I must say, the view of hong kong from those hiking trails is really excellent! U may even forget that u are in a bustling city....... ), hubbie and I talked about buying a piece of land in some cheaper countries e.g. Thailand or Malaysia. Some time ago, we discussed about this, although not so seriously, just one of those random thoughts that we had. This time round, we thought, should we seriously give more thought to this? Only thing is, not sure where to start. But, must be near the sea! Heehee. That will be more idyllic! ;)

Having tried my hands at growing some plants this year........ must say it's really not so easy and one must be quite patient! Especially when the plants are sick, really not sure what to do? And can quite messy, with all the soil and stuff. And I must say, I really hate it when I discover bugs!!! But understand there are good bugs and there are bad bugs! So cheeeeeeem. But at this moment, my knowledge is zero. I just get rid of them ALL! Hehehehe.

Will the day come when I can pluck fresh fruits and vegetables from my own backyard?? Hmmmm..........wellz, now I can pluck chillis ;) that's a start! I wonder if my lemon seedling will grow to be big enough to bear fruit???

Remembered watching a documentary sometime back about farmers in UK (or was it france??) So interesting.........the vegetation they grow. And there is so much knowledge about farming, I think it's all lost on our cityfolks.

But sometimes, I think, maybe facing the farm patch everyday can be quite boring?? But they have a community of farmers leh, where they share knowledge and interests, quite interesting and make money selling their stuff or bartering for others. What a different life. The best is, if the farmpatch is located near the sea also.........Win liao! Tired of seeing vegetables?? go to the seaside, enjoy the seabreeze and the sight of the ocean. And most wonderful if the waters are clear blue!!! ;) dream on........ Heehee.

Not sure when the idea of farm-living became an interesting and enticing thought. But I am quite sure, if I am really in that situation, I will probably grow bored after a while and start complaining and yearn for city-living........ hahahahaha ;) A case of the grass is always greener on the other side ;p

Like now, there are days when I think, where's the next place we will be going to? Or maybe we will be going home to Singapore soon? ;o) But, must say, still quite happy here lah! (just in case hubbie reads this and he gets stressed! He will be like wat??? We just got here!!!!! Heeheee. Give him some level of comfort........ hehehe)
Will see how things go........in the meantime, I shall continue “nursing” my idle thoughts......... ;)

Missing Oven

Time flies and it's going to be Christmas soon........... Now, I miss my baking oven more than ever!!! Sigh, I guess, this Christmas I won't be baking my cookies and tarts and puddings ;(

I really wish I had space for the oven. But where we are, it's kind of a challenge finding the space to accommodate that. Waaaaaaaaaaah. I need a bigger kitchen!!!!! Wait long long. Maybe if both our paychecks double, we can consider staying in a 1000sq ft place and have slightly more space. That (i.e. doubling of paychecks), dear reader, you should know, is not quite a realistic wish!

*******xmas******xmas********xmas*********xmas********xmas********xmas******

Monday, November 22, 2004

Another friend in Shanghai.

Another friend of mine is leaving Singapore to work overseas. Oh, excitingly, its to be based in Shanghai! One more friend to visit when I go to shanghai!! And just last nite, when I was having dinner with a friend, someone from university days, talking about people from uni, its amazing how many of us are based overseas (or have been based overseas for a period). I get really excited when I know of someone who is going for an overseas assignment, as its really a very interesting experience and being away from home, somehow changes ones perspective. If I am to choose again, I would have chosen the same path.

Coming back to this uni friend (hubbie knows him better), and his circle of entrepreneurial frens, I thought to myself, are some people are just “born” to be “entrepreneurs”? I mean, there he is, striking deals from Japan to Thailand to China and other places. Geez, here I am, after donkey years, still thinking about what kind of business to engage in? (if ever?????) How different.

But of course, some people may have some “family business” history, so I guess that helps! ;) but really, a lot depends on oneself doesn't it?

Anyway, just as it's stated in the bible, to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. And importantantly, What is God's purpose in our lives?

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Is it that easy to forget the pain?

Today, for some reason, I started thinking about my previous jobs and work place and kind of felt that I miss those days…………. But I caught myself and tried to recall WHY I left the jobs/ organization/etc, and reminded myself how painful it was when I was going through it, and how I HATED the job and so forth. But truth is, the memory of the pain, unhappiness is very vague...... really very vague. But yet, I remember quite clearly the happy exchanges with colleagues, the fun and the excitement when programs are being launched. But when I was going through it, I really didn’t like it much. I mean, otherwise I wouldn’t be complaining everyday and wanting to resign. Maybe we humans have an innate ability to forget things and only retain what we want to remember. Is that really the case I wonder? Maybe there was something that good, but the pressures then totally “covered” it. And the mind focused only the negatives, the bad things. Is that how we are? We tend to focus on the negatives? But the good we take for granted??

Hmmmmmm........ this I need to speak to God about, how to change this mindset of mine........

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

胡乱.........杂乱.........乱成一团!

脑里乱成一团--想写确一个字也写不出。这是不是所谓的“思路”并非以“中文”为主?我想是吧!因为我脑海,正是一片“英文”呀!可悲。还要我写中文报告!难如登山(什么山都好)!

下一次,我会再努力!!!

Friday, November 12, 2004

Craving Craving ......... Cravings

Sometimes, I just can't stand myself. We all know pregnant ladies have cravings (albeit for short periods) but I seem to be perpetually craving for certain foods despite not being pregnant. It's getting a lil’ worrisome. I don't use to worry, cos when one is younger, I suppose any weight gain from obsessive consumption can be lost easily (or shall I use the phrase “more easily”).

But now that losing weight is such a challenge, I really get worried when I just eat and eat. And when I having a craving, I reaaaaaaaaally crave! I mean, just this last week, I have a sudden craving for luncheon meat/egg sandwich/bun (what hongkongers call “Can-Dan Zhi”) and I think I must have taken it for breakfast for 4 days of the week. Sigh and that is not the most healthy food around.

And before that sinful sandwich craving, it was cookies and cream ice cream. I must have had tubs of it in the last few months. My fridge is stocked and I never run out of it. And I will have a cup almost every night. But now, I have half a tub sitting in the freezer cos they are no longer IN ;)

And of course, there are many examples of my craving........... No matter how much exercise I do, I think it's not going to help. Plus, whatever I crave for, always seem to unhealthy and fattening. Oooooo and before the ice-cream, it was McWings. I really liked the wings. But I try to limit myself to once or twice a week. But considering that they are so well deep-fried, once a month would have been more acceptable.

Aiyaz, I think I should do something about this, exercise more will-power or something. Otherwise, the consequences can be “heavy”........................ ;(

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Love is Spelled T-I-M-E

This is an extract from "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren

The Best Expression of Love is Time
Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make mor emoney but you can't make more time. WHen you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.

It is not enough just to say relationships are important. We must prove it by investing time in them. Words are lone worthless. "My children, our love should not be just words and talk, it must be true love which shows itself in action."(1 Jn3:18)

Relationships take time and effort and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others but how much we give of ourselves.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My thoughts after reading it ......... How true and really food for thought for how i will build relationships in future.

but sometimes when i think of how much "i"have given of "myself", i end up focusing on me and the "sacrifice" and then, end up doing things grudgingly..... guess that is sign that i haven't really surrendered to God and that i am still in the process of being filled with His love and spirit so that what is outpoured, is not mine, but His love.

So, that's my prayer tonite, for more of His love in my life and that I will be more like Him! ;)

Monday, November 08, 2004

Sunday, November 07, 2004

nose nose nose

i absolutely hate "noses" that are "sensitive" ... - - if u know what i mean. but as luck would hv it, all my life, i am surrounded by men whose noses are so sensitive, they rightly qualify to be sensitive new age men.

i can't stand it, the perpetual sniffing and sneezing ... aaargh!!! torturous........ and it seems this sensitivity plague men more than women! why why why? it's so irritating......aaaaaaaargh. it sends me into a bad mood everytime the nose starts to react.....

sigh, i guess there's nothing much i can do about this, so might as learn to live with it... ;(

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Loving Parents

Being away from home, and with only 1 brother in Singapore, often i worry about my mum and dad. Are they lonely? Do they need help? Is there something that i can do to make them happier even though i am not there?

i've asked them to come visit but somehow, they haven't had the chance to. and of course, we try to go back to Singapore when we can. But u know, it's different.

As i think about my parents, i remember my growing up years where i am sure they must have wondered why they have a child as difficult as i am. I guess, as with all growing teens, there's lots of angst, feelings that my parents didn't understand me, they were too strict at times, and that they didn't share my passion/ideals. and of course, i didn't understand them or tried to understand them either. Growing up, there's our fair share of shouting matches, especially for me as i have a rather hot temper when i was growing up..... coupled by the fact that i have a bit of "intelligence"..... my dad always say i think i am "clever" and that is why i am always arguing......so rebellious....maybe there is some truth in what he says.

it's difficult being parents i suppose, when to let go, when to restrain.......

of course, there are many times when i wished, i hadn't said this, or done that, but what's done and said, cannot be undone.

At the end of the day, i love my parents.

but somehow, sometimes, when i was growing up, my actions don't show that (or sometimes even now! when impatience can get the better of a person). but i pray that I will learn to love my parents as God loves us and to also take actions that reflect that love. and hopefully, i've made some progress over the years ;) but i guess, whatever i do, the most precious thing that can happen, and i pray it will, is that they will receive the gift of eternal life that God has for them. It may not be now, but i pray, it will be so, soon.

and being away from home, my prayer everyday for them, is that God will protect them, physically and emotionally and God will be a very present help to them in their daily situations. That they will experience the peace and joy that God has intended to give them....... just as he has given us.

As i write about loving my parents, it brings me to another matter that has been bothering me for many years.......loving my in-laws. Loving our own parents is easier isn't it? we have a bond with them......and we truly care for them. But when it comes to in-laws, it can be more challenging.....hard as i try, sometimes, i find it difficult, especially when there are differences in opinions and views. I pray that God will fill my heart with love for them as well. Cos, loving them, is a gift to my hubbie i suppose. Just as he has given me the same gift.......of loving my parents.

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Monday, November 01, 2004

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy

i love the show.....they are really good in turning around "crappy" "pigstyles" into stylish homes!!!! my place needs exactly that! a makeover! and i need their "advice" on what beauty regimes are good for me.! ;)

yesterday, saw an episode where they helped this guy organise a wedding reception. omigosh, the wedding reception was LOVELY LOVELY, like a dream wedding.......wonder how much it costs??? especially in NY. and the food was amazingly pretty too. everyone was so touched tears flowed :)

told dear hubbie - that i also want a reception like that! like a dream.....albeit 7 years late....hahahaha.....i guess i will have to wait till i get to live in NY???? hahahaha