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Saturday, October 30, 2004

Chinglish Land

I've always liked to learn new languages - have taken lessons in japanese and french before - but somehow, due to lack of exposure to the language or whatever other reasons, never really "learnt" the language. only the "abc"s to get by and sometimes, not even getting by.

wellz wellz, maybe i just don't have the language affinity ;) especially such foreign and difficult languages!

but what irks me most these days, is that my mandarin is just as atrocius. I mean, i always thought mandarin is like piece of cake u know(never had problems with it, never will)..... but having to use Mandarin in a business environment is a HUGE CAKE, whatever bite i take, is minuscule compared to its size. The words don't flow......... i hate it when i have to write reports and presentations in mandarin (which is ALWAYS!) - i think half of what i want to say is lost! oh dear.........i tell myself i better buck-up, read more, write more, but man, it's more difficult that you think k?! business mandarin is very difficult..........waaaaaaaahhhhhh .........

sigh....i am not effectively bilingual am i? my mandarin vocabulary is really limited (i mean, in relation to business-related terms, if it's about scolding people, rest assured, it is limitless, hahahaha) - it's pathetic!

i think maybe i will just stick to reading my martial arts novel and stuff, and karaoke-ing.... those i understand perfectly ....but business reports??? and there i was, entertaining thoughts of maybe working in China in future....... this is good training ground..... training me to abolish the thought!!! ;) just griping lah.....who knows what the future holds? only certainty is that God holds the future :0) , that already feels better ;)

only thing is, i better write more in English, else i start deteriorating and i will be in no-man's land..... oh oh, in Chinglish land!!!! yipes!!!

He, whom she has not seen, she loved.

Just read an email a few days from a fren ( a young gal), who is planning to go on a mission trip end this year to Cambodia. Am very happy for her responding to God's call and I believe she will experience God fuller and her faith will be strengthened tremendously. I am so glad that she's on fire for God. I wish i am too, now. I guess, i can say that i used to desire God more, somehow the years have eroded that passion. So eroded that there was a point where i was practically running away from God's call, plans. Maybe that's what it means to be in the wilderness, the desert.....where there's so much moaning, self-centredness and worse, faithlessness.

I've had a relationship with God for years and have the privilege of experiencing him, his grace in my life. ALthough there hasn't been any life-changing event or "great miracles" (so to speak), yet in my daily living, i know that He is real, He is there. He has touched my heart so many times, it cannot be a figment of my imagination. Yet, despite knowing that He is loves me, i often want to run away from Him.

But thank God, through his grace, i'm slowly making progress re-establishing my relationship with him. But still, i wish i was more passionate about Him! i mean, this is the BEING who created all things and i am lukewarm about Him??? tsk tsk. Goodness, how can anything else have more of my attention? Yet that is truly so. The things that gives immediate gratification, the things that are tangible, the things that requires my attention now.........those things dilute my focus on God, on his Son and the Holy Spirit. I wish i can say i've found the answer, but yet i know that it will be a daily learning experience which He will give me grace to go through. I know God is patient, He is merciful and full of grace. He knocks on the door of one's heart, and all it takes is for faith to open that door.

Like i said many years ago, on my epitaph, i hope it is written : "He, whom she has not seen, she loved."

Friday, October 29, 2004

small space

when i first came to hong kong, the small apartment size was really a pain. i just cannot get used to it - it's like half the size of our apartment in singapore and the rental is twice as much! how terrible!!!

but after a few months, i appreciate the smallness - there's less to clean-up. cleaning the floor takes less than an hour (and i use cloth ok! not the mop!!) and the place can be quite cosy. and i guess when there's only 2 of us, we don't really need that much space.

but of course, i still find it small lah! how can one ever have enough space rite? i mean, in hkg i have to think twice when i want to buy something for the apartment and in the end, we stop looking at furnishing even. no point.....there surely is not enough space ;) also, we are not very creative at utilising small spaces .... slowly learning and getting better :)

so we turn our attention to buying clothes .....hahahaha. even with one bedroom as our walk-in wardrobe, i think we are quickly running out of space ! ;) goes to show how many pieces of clothing we have between the 2 of us. for a man, boy can hubbie shop ;) but that's what i like about him lah! so fashionable ...heehee.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Cheesecake anyone - Part 2

What other changes have i experienced since i came to hong kong? let's see........ oh, i visit the gym more often here in hong kong now! in fact, amazes me that sometimes, i manage to go to the gym up to 3 times a week...... but nowadays (since i started working), getting a bit less disciplined ;) sometimes only once a week.....and with all the FOOD i consume, it'd be soon that i start putting on weight!!! *****shudder*****

afterall, it's a known fact that it's difficult to control one's weight after turning 30!

aiyahz - now that i am writing about this, i feel guilty not going to the gym today. But, that's because i was stuck in the office and by the time i could get off, it's about 8pm and was feeling tired.

thing about the gym i go to here is there's hardly any cute guys to "ogle" at and for those cuter ones, i bet they are not straight...... ;) what a pity. then again, if i am looking for eye candy, who cares whether they are straight or not?? ;p hehehe.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Shanghai Shanghai

I just visited Shanghai recently.....heard so much about it prior to my visit, that i was really looking forward to it. Indeed, it was a great city, very vibrant and cosmopolitan......and when i sat at the starbucks there, watching the world (or rather shanghai) go by, i really didn't feel like in China. It's definitley a city that i will go back again, i think it can be a good place just to chill...... despite some negatives about it!

And here's just 3 things i don't like about Shanghai city :
(a) the food is oily and salty! (yipes! the vegetables are swimming in oil!)
(b) it's crowded! (everyone's in shanghai in oct?)
(c) service staff can be rude! (so be prepared)

Oh, and my brother will be based near there from next the more reason i will visit ;) wunderful!

Cheesecake anyone?

Since I move to hong kong, for some reason, i started trying cheesecakes........ for the last 30+ years, i hardly eat cheese cakes and the reason? i don't like them. the most i venture is a small morsel, just to try. but never really liked it. and some of my pals really loved cheesecake......always cajoling me to try some, but somehow, i figured, this is a pleasure i don't share and it has always been that way.

don't know why, but since coming to hong kong, i've actually concluded that cheesecakes are quite tasty, especially the really good ones.....and sometimes, i catch myself thinking, hmmm, when will i get to taste that cheesecake again?

it's strange isn't it? how did that change come about? pals out there may be thinking aloud, "miracle! she finally found cheesecakes!!" ;) but there was really no significant event to change my views abt usual, i'd try some when presented with one.....but somehow, change just came about. hmmmm..........

so it led me to think....... is that how people change? in recent years, saw quite a few break-ups, divorce......always wondered how and what brought about the change in the "love" between couples. honestly, i've always held the notion that if u want to keep the marriage going, you can. those who give up, simply didn't want to try. or maybe they didn't see the need to try. But, maybe it's just like the cheesecake, the change just happened??? Unexplainable in nature??? i really don't know. One thing i know, i do eat cheesecakes now!

Sunday, October 24, 2004

best of friends.....

Have been reading a novel, best of friends...and i cried buckets reading it! it's been a long while since i enjoyed a sentimental read and enjoy a good "bout" of "sentimental crying"!

and it brings to mind the very few close friends whom i have and really can count with fingers type. for some, how did our friendships last so long? it's amazing. and for some, somehow, the relatively short time as friends, there is such a strong bonding/friendship that developed and that's amazing too.

sometimes, its quite funnie how things turn out.....i see myself as one who is kind of anti-social (i don't like to make conversations, i actually don't really like to make new frens) - but somehow, when u meet the right the people, conversation simply flows....i guess that's what "clicking" is all about. :)

and I am thankful that God has chosen to bless me with friends along the way to share in my journey, without which, the journey would have been less meaningful.

as i write, i recall slipping and falling down in a river when i was 15 ....and my pal took a picture of me and captured that "wunderfully ugly" moment forever!! hahaha - memories are made of this. or when i was 20 and going through this really painful break-up and my pals were there, sharing my french onion soup..... wow, that's what memories are about. Lovely to look back on. or even simple things such as having roti prata late at night and enjoying the company.... i'd give up karaoke (!) anytime for that. hehehe.

Then i think, i must be a pretty nice gal rite? to have such good pals?? ahem ahem....hehehe. but then, some people i consider as not so "great" personalities seem to also have very close friends... now that's strange ;( and that is using the "judgemental spirit" to look at them.... i am sure they have their good traits too....just that i am not "privy" to it. i must try, MUST TRY, to see the positive side of things as well. but then again, does it really matter what i think? so it seems that i have digressed......

to all my pals, i just want you to know, your friendship i treasure. and even more so, since i came to hong kong. if there's one thing i miss about home (besides my parents!), it's you.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

a dream remains a dream....

I've always "liked" the idea of living abroad - experiencing new things and establishing new friendships and so on and so forth. Having missed the opportunity to pursue an "overseas education", coming to hong kong in 2004 was like a "consolation" ;)

why consolation ? because unfortunately, my idea of living "abroad" means US or Europe! Hong Kong is kind of near home (Singapore) ......... ;p (heyz, don't get me wrong - i do enjoy living here in hong kong .... for now!)

I find it funny when i think about it because US/Europe is so far away that it holds such an appeal? or that the US/Europe that i see (through reading, images) seems so different from Asia? What is it about the appeal? I haven't figured that out yet. All i know is, i enjoy the vibrancy in cities such as NY and the laidback-ness in places like boston when i visited them. Maybe it's because they seem to have a place for all sorts of people - not just people who are driven by practical needs (which means $$) but also people with dreams and visions. For one, i feel that i lack that i.e. i don't really have a passion or dream (yep, karaoke cannot be considered a passion....hahahaha)........maybe somewhere where the emphasis is different can do some good for one's "personal development"!! or maybe that is simply an "illusion" in itself because it may all jolly well depend on "U", regardless of the situation.

I've been warned about discrimination and the sorts, but hey, who says we don't experience that here in Asia when we relocate?

Which brings to mind a conversation i overhead on the bus here in hong kong. A Chinese had this to say about Singaporeans (mind u he had alot to say about hong kongers as well, but i ain't going to repeat that here) : (note : this is a summary of what he said, not a word-for-word transcript!) :

"Singaporeans are worse (i take it he meant worse than Hong Kongers) - they are neither Chinese nor Westerners. They don't have in-depth knowledge about Chinese culture and history, it's difficult to relate to them. And even though they speak english, they are not westerners. They don't have an identity. "

I suppose he is oblivious to what others think about him.

Anyway, I am still holding to the dream of living some where far out there some day in the future.......

Trying something new.......

I read about bloggers for a long time - and always wondered, who reads them ??? and now, i am trying out, having my own blog-spot....hahaha..... that's how life is! Never say never!